The Air Force is looking to hire a gardener – preferably one with ray gunman . You see , just like the residual of us , the military is embarrassed by their unkempt , weed - occupy backyards . They ’ve try out spraying those pesky weeds with toxic herbicides , but chemical substance are expensive and – this was news to me – manifestly , when you spray Round - Up on a dandelion , it does n’t instantly turn smuggled and deliquium and shrink up , like it does in the commercials . Manual weeding take evermore – and besides , fighter jocks are n’t paid to mow the lawn .
So when hand - to - hand armed combat and chemical substance warfare fail , what ’s go away to do ? micro-cook the bastards .
Every so often , the Air Force askssmall businessesfor inquiry marriage proposal on a dizzying array of topics . Themost late listincludes 160 projects , one of which is titled “ Floral Disruptor – Directed Energy Weed Abatement and Prevention Tool ” . The objective lens : “ formulate a twist that uses directed Department of Energy technology to prevent and abate undesirable plants ( weeds ) in surface area that require command or defoliation . The purpose of this scheme will be the remotion of unwanted plant and keep seeds from germinating . ”

If you ’re enquire , yes , you ’re right – “ directed - vim ” is a chemical compound adjective that typically precedes “ weapon , ” as inlasers , pain electron beam , andsonic weapons .
The military spend millions of dollar on weed control every year , and they ’re take care for someone who can make the unwanted plant go forth for good . Someone with an idea for a clover - zappinglaser cannon , or maybe amicrowave - radiating , dandelion - speckle - destroyingfighter jet .
The Air Force wants its plant - zapper to get free of weeds , and “ protect wildlife at the same fourth dimension , ” as the call for research notes . After all , “ weed killer use generally has negative impacts on fowl population . ”

But retrieve of the weeds , those wretched , unsuspicious plant , who ’ve been brandmark as undesirables for their entire lives . They ’re wildlife too . One minute of arc , they ’re just sidling up to a clinker - block wall or butt against in on a patch of petunias , and the next , they ’re wilting to their melty demise , wish they could have survive to go around their germ one more fourth dimension , or watch their offspring germinate .
As ridiculous as it may sound to suggest weed with directed energy , an Air Force representative assure Danger Room that they ’re not need anyone to reinvent the wheel . They ’ve looked into the idea enough to believe it ’s feasible and , perhaps , even hardheaded .
Private diligence is already hard at work engineering herbological catastrophes . They ’ve tested microwave radiotherapy , lasers , thermal technologies ( for example foam , red-hot water , steam , quenched red-hot gases ) and , perhaps the vicious of all , profound , to get rid of the undesirable plants . Sound , says the research call , can be used to “ deter , disrupt , deny , or degrade ” green goddess . Just yell at your weed until it ’s so emotionally worn , it decides it ca n’t go on anymore .

The aforementioned Air Force rep , though very friendly , was formally unable to share his name or any details about whether progress has been made in developing directed - energy gardening intersection . He did say , however , that if a merchandise along these lines is evolve for the military , probability are it will make its way into the consumer market as well . That ’s how these thing normally work .
Submissions for phase - one proposals are due electronically at 6 a.m. on January 11 . If you’re able to think of the best mode to wreak havoc on weeds , you come through a nine - calendar month research grant deserving up to $ 150,000 . So get collapse , all you gardeners who have ever entertain view of weedkiller . ( Frickin ’ shark not eligible . )
Photo : AFRL

This post originally appear onWired ’s Danger Room.Wired.com has been expanding the hive brain with engineering , scientific discipline and geek acculturation news since 1995 .
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