So you ’ve no doubt heard about American cinemas’near unanimous decisionto pull The audience from theaters . Not to be outdone in cowardice , Paramount isalso telling some theatersto not bet 2004 ’s Team America : World Police in its position in deference to our new cultural overlords in Pyongyang .
Since we ’ve officially abandoned all ground , we thought we ’d help the studios out and ready a list of some other photographic film that we should probably just ban lest we obtain the wrath of some unsung hack radical that’sdemonstrated no power to carry out all the threatsit throws around . But hey , we would n’t need to appal anyone !
What ? ! A film in which a most utterly design North Korean plot does n’t assassinate the leader of the spare globe ? Well , that wo n’t do at all !
Oh human beings , I hope Kim Jong - Un did n’t see this one ! A whole film where an malefic and crooked governance is overrule by the people — all in supporting of a mask revolutionary . Let ’s just act like this one never existed , yes ?
Oh jeez , Kim Jung - Il said that 2012 was the twelvemonth North Korea would “ open up the grand gates to becoming a get up world power . ” A film basically about how shitty 2012 is probably would n’t go over so well . Also , it ’s the year103 in North Korea , base on the parentage of Kim Il - Sung , so obviously this flick is just full of lies !
North Korea , especially the tarradiddle of its leaders , are essentially built on a delicate and intricate web of lies . Did you know that Kim Jung - il shot 38 under equality at a golf trend in Pyongyang , could talk when he was only 8 weeks older , and alsowrote 1500 books in his life-time ? Do n’t wonder it ! So it ’s no wonder that this coloured , dark clowning depicting your inability to tell a lie would be too fearful for NK ’s propaganda indifferent media machine .
A movie depicting the power of sistership and showing a heroical film that remove the decades - quondam coupling of the patriarchal prince charming ? I do n’t retrieve so ! I mean North Korean women just gained the ability to tire out pant , platform shoes , and earrings in 2012 . Let ’s not agitate it …
hold back , what is that ? A denim jacket ? ! BANNED . Everyone knows that denim isa signboard of American imperialism ! John Bender , I ’m afraid you wo n’t do at all . In fact , call Robert Zemeckis , and see if we ca n’t digitally insert a nice suede jacketon Marty McFly .
Oh my , what were you think when you made this picture ? Everyone knows that the real first Avenger was named the Jonginator who could should lasers from his eyes , swat away bullets like gnats , and crush imperialistic dogs . Re - release with the correct first Avenger . Please , and thank you .
North KoreaSonySony Hackthe interview
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